Sh*t Parents at Orientation Say
Oh, I’m not one of those parents who coddles their kid, but I’m somewhat of a control freak.
We have special circumstances in our family.
But my kid is different.
Your father will build that loft higher.
If she gets assigned to a community bathroom, we’re transferring.
Can you skip back to that last slide? I’m taking pictures of this entire presentation with my iPad to replay for my husband when I get back to the hotel.
When I was in school we didn’t have Facebook yet. You met your roommate on the first day of school and lived with whatever you got.
He may be 18, but as long as I’m paying tuition, I should have access to his school email and conferences with his professors.
My kid is going to eat every single meal in the dining hall.
My kid won’t eat a single meal in the dining hall.
I’m pretty sure my daughter will place out all freshman classes. And sophomore. And junior.
I’m going to need you to print all of the emails the school sends you, okay, honey?
Where are the dorm cleaning products kept? My Johnny is a neat freak!
Who do I talk to about getting a higher housing number? We were downloading a particularly long Power Point email from her Aunt of “Awesome Photographs,” and weren’t able to login in time.
So is your son rushing? No, he’s Italian.
Do I get charged for parking when I come to visit my daughter and stay in her room overnight?
Do they have coffee around here?
Do they have wine around here?
I seem to have something in my eye, where are the tissues?
Sh*t Orientation Leaders Say
Great question! Now I’m going to repeat it back to you somewhat differently in answer form and throw some catch phrases in while not saying anything of interest and refer you to a website.
We encourage you to have a conversation with your student regarding ______________.
You can get more information about that on our website.
The tissues are right over there.
©2014 Tracey Henry