Top 10 signs you know the school year is ending:
10. School busses start carrying salve on board for the third degree burns resulting from vinyl seats reaching 37,000 ℃ by 7 am.
9. Too short to be considered “crayons,” you now have a box of wax finger paints. All in Burnt Sienna color.
8. Notes from the teacher are now scrawled on the back of Expedia and Priceline search results printouts.
7. Entrees on the hot lunch menu include candy from the leftovers in the teacher’s lounge and the “You’ll get it back in June” drawer.
6. The only matching pair of socks in the entire fourth grade is between your daughter and the kid who slept over last weekend.
5. Backpacks have deteriorated into back-of-knee packs.
4. The amount of times you hit the snooze button has grown exponentially throughout the year; you now only awake to the alarm of your own sobs when you realize you have to return to school after Memorial Day weekend.
3. Because of #4, your kids have a laminated tardy slip.
2. Car line has become merely a suggestion.
And the number one sign that school is almost out?
Commercials start alternating between Sylvan Learning Centers, Back to School sales and top shelf vodka.
©2014 Tracey Henry