My GPS system has two settings in which to choose your route: faster or shorter. After a recent 3500 mile road trip, I discovered it also had some unofficial, hidden settings which include “Most Convoluted” and “Urban Thrill seeker.”
On the way up north, GPS and I were BFF’s. We basically followed one road for 800 miles, so neither of us worked too hard and got along well when the only instruction she gave was, “Follow the road.” I sang her navigational praises at every opportunity.
Somewhere along the LIE, our relationship took a wrong turn.
I guess I’ll never know what triggered it--was I too flirtatious with an ATM?--but suddenly I found myself on the way home to Florida by way of 42nd Street, two subway tunnels and a Chinese sloe boat along the Hudson.
Under no modern definition was midtown Manhattan during rush hour in a mini van with Sunshine State plates faster or shorter.
I expressed my concern.
“What the @#$#? Why are you taking me through Times Square????”
Turn right in 500 feet, then an immediate left and then keep right.
“Uh, you do know those sound more like a Twister game than driving directions? I think that will land me... Continue Reading >> | 
