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 Breaking with Tradition
 

Maybe I had too much eggnog. Maybe someone gave me a gift I felt obligated to wear. Or maybe there was an airing of "A Christmas Story" on TLC instead of "What Not To Wear."

Or maybe I alone am to blame for purchasing--and wearing--the world’s ugliest Christmas sweater.

To my defense, it was 2006--a particularly crazy time. We were all experimenting with mind-altering sequins. I mean, it was a time for free holiday love, man!

I come from a long lineage of sparkly holiday sweater wearers. My mother was the queen of the North Pole catwalk--we, her princesses. She had some doozies, but instead of being embarrassed by them, I remember being proud of her festiveness.

Fast forward to now, and I fear that I have not inherited a sense of fashion, but rather a madness that overtakes my mind, judgment and closet this time of year.

Last week while unpacking the annual decorations, I pulled out my December wardrobe specials. At first, I thought I might have been rifling through Elton John's dresser drawers. If Elton John moonlighted as a Rockette. A Rockette who did an earlier stint in Branson from Thanksgiving to New Year's. Hopped up on candy cane martinis and old Alvin and the Chipmunks records.

Although a few of the bulbs had burned out and some of the tinsel had faded, I could still appreciate the sweater's awfulness. Despite it's designer label--Clark W. Griswold--it was a definite fashion don't. It should have come with its own black bar to place over my eyes for the inevitable paparazzi photos.

This Yule time epiphany was sobering. I suddenly realized that I was either much too old or too young to wear such a thing. During the month of December, I go from being a hip Momma to a Momma that needs a hip replacement. And that's not a good look for me.

So sorry rhinestone miners and faux Santa fringe seamstresses, you will have to find a new doll to deck this year. It looks like this is one of those holiday traditions that I'm going to have to hang up for a while.

Literally.

©2008 Tracey Henry

Divamail me!

Last night my daughter attended a frat party--ugly Christmas sweater party.

For $2 at a thrift store in Cape Girardeau she found one of your mom's long lost sweaters.

Merry Christmas!
Posted by Jodi, 12/13/08, 01:26pm
http://www.uglychristmassweaterparty.com/index.html

Check out this site, it is sooooo funny...

Merry Christmas to you!
Posted by Subdiva, 12/13/08, 03:49pm
Love it! You could hang out with my husband, who owns a collection of ugly Christmas ties!
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