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| | Breaking with Tradition |
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| | Maybe I had too much eggnog. Maybe someone gave me a gift I felt obligated to wear. Or maybe there was an airing of "A Christmas Story" on TLC instead of "What Not To Wear."
Or maybe I alone am to blame for purchasing--and wearing--the world’s ugliest Christmas sweater.
To my defense, it was 2006--a particularly crazy time. We were all experimenting with mind-altering sequins. I mean, it was a time for free holiday love, man!
I come from a long lineage of sparkly holiday sweater wearers. My mother was the queen of the North Pole catwalk--we, her princesses. She had some doozies, but instead of being embarrassed by them, I remember being proud of her festiveness.
Fast forward to now, and I fear that I have not inherited a sense of fashion, but rather a madness that overtakes my mind, judgment and closet this time of year.
Last week while unpacking the annual decorations, I pulled out my December wardrobe specials. At first, I thought I might have been rifling through Elton John's dresser drawers. If Elton John moonlighted as a Rockette. A Rockette who did an earlier stint in Branson from Thanksgiving to New Year's. Hopped up on candy cane martinis and old Alvin and the Chipmunks records.
Although a few of the bulbs had burned out and some of the tinsel had faded, I could still appreciate the sweater's awfulness. Despite it's designer label--Clark W. Griswold--it was a definite fashion don't. It should have come with its own black bar to place over my eyes for the inevitable paparazzi photos.
This Yule time epiphany was sobering. I suddenly realized that I was either much too old or too young to wear such a thing. During the month of December, I go from being a hip Momma to a Momma that needs a hip replacement. And that's not a good look for me.
So sorry rhinestone miners and faux Santa fringe seamstresses, you will have to find a new doll to deck this year. It looks like this is one of those holiday traditions that I'm going to have to hang up for a while.
Literally.
©2008 Tracey Henry
Divamail me! |
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 | Last night my daughter attended a frat party--ugly Christmas sweater party.
For $2 at a thrift store in Cape Girardeau she found one of your mom's long lost sweaters.
Merry Christmas!
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