There is a terrible rumor going around today that I wish dispel.

Perhaps it’s less of a rumor, and more of a misunderstanding. Yes, an egregious misconception that our children may have of their parents’ reaction to the first day of school. Some of our actions may have been misinterpreted.

For example, those balloons you saw at the end of car line—those were not in celebration of you leaving, they were a congratulatory gesture on a new year of success for you. And when you saw what you might have perceived as some parents jumping up and down—that was not euphoria, but rather hysteria at the thought of a few hours without you. It took quite some time to calm some mothers down. And while that may have resembled a Conga line that wound around the courtyard, I assure you, it was not. Rather it was more of a funeral procession as we were that somber.

And when you heard those tires screech out of the school parking lot—they were not to some fun adult only destination. No, we were just all in a hurry to get to our grief counselors.

It is true that we did in fact, meet for breakfast today. Only upon doctor’s orders did we eat since we risked dehydration from all of the crying. When we did finally find sustenance, we dined on gruel and tap water. Yes, it is odd that that looks similar to crepes Suzette and mimosas. Curious indeed.

And we most certainly did not go to the spa after that mediocre meal. If my skin looks like it just had a salt scrub, that’s from wiping my tears all day. Ignore my red toenails as well—I walked on hot coals to distract myself from the pain of being alone for a few hours.

The shopping trip was strictly utilitarian. Self-help books, sappy poetry and a bottle of cheap wine. Ignore that new blouse. I needed it because the one I was wearing had tread marks on it after I tried to throw myself under a bus.

Please do not think I extracted any joy whatsoever from that nap I had this afternoon. It was merely exhaustion—I collapsed from wandering the empty house aimlessly for hours. I fell asleep in the fetal position and only dreamt of your homecoming.

So I hope that clears up any false reports to the contrary.

But no matter how confusing the day was, I do want you to be clear on one point. When you boys bounded up to the car with your big smiles and loud stories of first day triumphs, filling the air with your laughter and innocent mischief, I realized just how much I missed that today.

And that’s when the tears came in earnest.

©2007 Tracey Henry

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