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| | FYI--A.M.A. |
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| | A.M.A.
The letters sat accusingly on my chart.
A few weeks ago, my husband and I received the joyous news that we were soon to be parents. Again. For the fourth time. We are ecstatic, of course, and instead of feeling panic at the unknown, I felt reassured that perhaps I might know a thing or two after being through it before. But there was, in fact, one little surprise that hadnt occurred before.
Three little letters: A.M.A. Advanced Maternal Age.
Generally speaking, if 50 is the new 40, then apparently in O.B. terms, 36 is the new 84. The doctor might as well as given me my AARP card with my A.M.A status, as my ego has been M.I.A ever since. Whatever GYN who came up with that insulting acronym is an insensitive S.O.B.
I wanted to object, or at the very least, send out some sort of feminine S.O.S. Why, I just got carded a few months ago! Granted the cashier was slightly nearsighted and had a fresh lobotomy scar, but I clearly heard, I.D. as opposed to A.M.A before I was rushed to the E.R.
Its not like there are privileges to this membership like my AMEX. I am not earning bonus points for a cruise to Bermuda for every year after 35 that I give birth. My prize for being A.M.A. is amniocentesis and a repeat C. At the very least, I should qualify for some sort of FEMA benefits, as this is an unmitigated disaster. At least to my fragile psyche.
Wasnt it just yesterday that I was a P.Y.T.? I wanted my MTV, had an impressive collection of CDs, and watched 90210 every week. Now I guess I should open an IRA and tune into A.M. radio.
I knew motherhood would be a little different this time, perhaps slightly more difficult as I had three others to chase after, but I never thought my youth would R.I.P. quite so quickly. After all, Ive honed my maternal ESP, I am a loyal contributor to PBS, and I drive an SUV. Ive set parental controls on AOL and I make sure my children get plenty of Vitamin C. My wisdom and experience should be celebrated with something a little more P.C.
It is difficult enough to maintain the slightest bit of dignity during pregnancy without this added humiliation. We deserve a little more TLC. But, for the benefit of the baby, I really am trying not to get too P.O.ed. I must LOL at my circumstance, since I am not allowed any other form of Rx.
But AMA?
OMG...
©2006 Tracey Henry
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 | I have encountered a similar, yet different, ego deflating experience while parenting my 3 darling children. Yes, I spent my youth partying, working, traveling and generally have fun (I too was PYT)...no I did not settle down until I was approximately A.M.A, but come on...there are plenty of "older" parents around these days. (Sadly, I have an AARP card)
To hear the words "your grandchildren are so beautiful" is more than any one person should have to bear. Talk about SOB...yes I was PO'd...my EGO was in the proverbial toilet. I wanted to pull up something that had already headed South, but my sweet children said "Mommy, you're not THAT old"!
K.I.D.s
| | YMMD with that asnwer! TX
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